The First Step Is Awareness…

The first step toward change is awareness, the second step, acceptance. -Nathaniel Brandon

The first step to a better life is always–awareness. We must know where we are now, and where we are going, or else we are destined to wander. Our biggest pitfall isn’t in knowing where we want to go, but it is being caught in whirlwind of denial. Denying who we are now, in effort to feel more grandiose or even more feeble than reality. If we can’t look ourselves in the mirror and tell the truth, then we won’t reach our aspirations.

This is true, because the road to a better life always has a start and a finish. A point A(where we currently are) and a point B (where we want to go).

Let’s look at it this way:

Let’s assume, we want to go to Disneyland, CA, (Point B, where we want to go), so we prepare by saving money, gassing up the car, and buying those funny looking Mickey Mouse caps for the whole family. Next, comes the day to leave, we yell at the kids and spouse to finally get out the door, put on their mouse caps, and get in the car, but with one problem. We BELIEVE we are in Denver, CO, when in reality we are leaving from Houston, TX. (We are mistaken of the actual starting point.)

Now this trip, we decide to take a break from the electronics, because the spouse and kids won’t lay off the video games and social media. So,we totally “kick it” old school, and hit the pavement like old fogeys, navigating with only a paper map.

So, how will the misconception of the starting point, thinking we are in Denver when really we are in Houston, affect our ability to travel to Disneyland?  The mistake will render the entire trip to be incredibly frustrating, and maybe even impossible. We may then blame the map, or that the dream was unrealistic, but the only reason the trip is such a mouse trap, is because we are not aware of our true beginning.

The same is with our goals. We keep being the rat in a caged wheel, getting exactly what we don’t want, mainly because we carry a sack full of lies that act as temporary stress Band Aids for our disappointments. We over-exaggerate and under-exaggerate til pigs fly out of our butts. All in order to fulfill the pride, narcissism, or victimissm we vow to prove as fact. But, pigs will never fly out of our butts, so why do keep saying they will?

I suggest another way. That we stop the lies…

I know, the truth may not be as exciting. It may not be as oppressive. It may not be as temporarily satisfying. Yet, the truth will ultimately set us free. If we can’t step on the scale and write down the real reading without a bunch a rationalization and justification, then we have a habit of denying truth. But, why is it so hard to stick with the truth? Why is the truth so hard to stomach?

We can’t handle the truth because we can’t accept ourselves for who we are–all imperfect beings dealing with heartache. We often think that there is something wrong with us because we struggle. We think others “have it made” just because they posted a selfy with a Kardashian. But, the truth is their lives appear so awesome just because they are better actors. Better at hiding the pains, addictions, and difficulties.

But, being imperfect is a blessing not a burden. What would be the purpose of life, if we were perfect? Perfection isn’t reality. Perfection is boring.

We must accept ourselves as we are. To accept, love, and have compassion for ourselves, not just for our blessings and strengths, but even more importantly for our weaknesses and imperfections. For we are only perfectly perfect for this moment because of our imperfections. Perfectionism doesn‘t inspire, bring purpose, or add character.