A little over three years ago I was in a physician’s office, waiting for my final diagnosis. I was excited and petrified at the same time--to know what would be my fate for the upcoming years. I wondered "What would the Doc uncover?"
Maybe it was a severe intolerance, maybe an auto-immune disorder, maybe the C-word. Oh please don't let it be that... The C-word, don't let it be CANCER...
I had been suffering for 4 years now of bad health, going from physician to physician trying to find out what the heck was wrong with me. I was only in my early 30s and felt like on 80 year old gimp...
I had an obnoxious headache that would not go away--EVER. On top of that I had chronic fatigue, constant dizziness, nausea, consistent shooting pins and needles sensations throughout my chest and back, chronic flem buildup, arthritic pain, high blood pressure, acid re-flux disease, and I was edging back towards clinical depression, again.
The biggest issue was that all of these symptoms were chronic and constant. Yes, they waxed and waned as far as intensity, but they were a constant companion that I couldn't understand.
But why? Why me? I lived a good life. I had a great job. I had a great spouse and wonderful children. I did my best to manage stress. I was even optimistic about life.
On paper everything checked out, but my body was dying.
The symptoms I had perplexed physicians, and I was losing hope because I wasn't finding answers. I started to feel deep down that I wouldn't be around much longer. I started to dabble with that idea that I was going die young and leave my 4 young children fatherless...
Yet, on that day of receiving the diagnosis I had a sense of optimism for the future. This physician really seemed to know the problem. Finally the diagnosis, after so much searching...
“So, what where the results of all the tests, the exploratory surgery, and the injections put into my neck?” I asked” Do we finally know what’s wrong with me?”
“We finally found the problem.” She replied “The MRI scans of your neck show abnormal degeneration in your neck. This causes pinched nerves, inflammation, and muscles spasms which are causing all your abnormal symptoms.”
I let this set in. I felt relief to finally know why I felt the way I did, and that I didn't have the C-word. “OK, so what can I expect from here on out. What’s the prognosis?” I asked.
“Well generally speaking,” she said “Your condition is chronic and progressive. Meaning most likely it will never get better, and your main stay of therapy will be drugs, some physical therapy, and surgery in the future.”
This sent a dagger to my heart. “You’re saying, I will never feel good again? I am only 32 years old. I could easily live another 50 years, and it’s only going to progress and get worse?”
“Unfortunately, statistically speaking. YES.” She replied “But, drugs, surgery, and some physical therapy may help.”
I left the office, but I couldn’t get over the idea-- that I couldn’t get better. That this was the end of my health, that I couldn’t do anything to regain it. In some ways at that moment I selfishly preferred the quick death of cancer, rather than a life sentence of chronic pain.
I couldn't live with the idea that I couldn't get better, and deep down I knew there had to be a way to regain health and conquer this chronic disorder...
I didn't know the way to get there, but, I had to find it. Not just because I wanted to physically feel healthy, but because I knew that if I accepted this fate that the depression I was slowly re-entering, would become full blown, possibly even suicidal.
And I vowed that I would never allow myself to go back to that spiraling black hole again.
So, over the next year, I searched and searched for options of how I could get better. I studied heaps of health literature. “I can figure this out.” I thought. “I am a doctor of pharmacy.” But, all the literature I was reading was saying much the same thing as the physician said.
That I had a chronic progressive disease/disorder that would never heal.
So I continued the search, and "Googled" and "Yahooed" all I could, but it seemed the only literature that seemed to state otherwise, seemed to me as unscientific modalities, wives-tales and "too good to be true" holistic medicines..
These alternative modalities just seemed too unscientific, and I just couldn't understand them or put my faith in them.
But, still I tried some of them, the ones that seemed the most aligned with science, but to no avail...
Finally, after 5 years of this pain disorder, I reached my wits end. I was about to succumb to my life sentence, and allow the black death of depression to take hold.
But, then I decided to go to my last resort. To do the thing I should have done years before. To finally humble myself down to my knees, and to pray to a God which I no longer believed in.
And I pleaded for relief...
“God please, if you are up there, please let me feel a little better. I will do ANYTHING. Please let me have the health and energy to be the father and husband I want to be. My family deserves better than what I am able to give. I am losing it. I feel depression starting to overpower me. Please. Anything. Just give me anything. Even one day of relief!”
I waited, and at first nothing. But I forged on. It took a few weeks and more prayer. But, finally God did answer my prayers, and it came in a way I never expected—at a silly marriage conference which I didn’t want to go to…
You see, within a week or so of me turning to prayer for answers, my wife and I were invited to a marriage conference with some friends. I was opposed to going, but my wife had a strong internal feeling that we should go.
I really I didn’t want to go. It sounded boring. I wanted to do something fun like fishing or camping. Plus, I thought our marriage was fine, and the whole thing wasn't needed.
Luckily though, she kept pushing for it, and we went.
THERE I HAD THE GREATEST BREAKTHOUGH OF MY LIFE.
Now, most of the conference was about my arch nemesis-- EMOTIONS. I HATED them.
I perceived them to be the opposite of logic and rational intelligence. For I was a man of science, and emotions were irrational, primitive, and stupid.
However, on the last day of the conference I started to see that the presenters had a point, and as an amazing turn of events. All In an instant, and in a way that I still can't fully comprehend or even explain, I had a complete change of heart, and my mind erupted with the the strongest spiritual epiphany ever—
In just one idea that radiated throughout my whole body God answered my prayers--that all of my health problems were the result of just ONE thing—MISUNDERSTOOD EMOTIONS.
I was blown away to find that my greatest enemy/weakness which I faught against my whole life turned out to be the antidote...
From then on out, I researched everything I could about the science of emotion. I read book after book on the subject, and had breakthrough after breakthrough of how the brain and body process emotion.
I learned that emotions are scientific, and that they are only irrational when out of balance, and misunderstood. (Which is a rampant problem in our world today)
Now, learning the science was great, but the transformation I had by applying the knowledge was amazing, even miraculous…
Soon most everything in my life changed for the better. Really, on that night when I first knelt down to pray, I would have given anything for just a few days of relief from my chronic headache and fatigue.
But, not only did I get some relief from my headache and fatigue. It completely went away!
Plus, so much more: the flem and nausea stopped, the pins and needles sensations went away, my arthritic knee and wrist healed, my blood pressure dropped, acid re-flux went away, and I lost 30 pounds of body fat (without trying).
If I wouldn’t have experienced it myself I wouldn’t have believed it. How just understanding and improving my emotional habits would change the entire outcome of my health.
Plus, not only did my physical health drastically change, mental health also elevated.
The depression I was drifting back into, completely vanished. Social anxiety of which often palpitated within my chest subsided. Behavioral addictions created from childhood and adolescence, which I tried to hide from everyone, just started going away.
And for the cherry on top, the relationships with my wife and children improved dramatically, leading to sweeter relationships, and passion than I had ever known…
These principles of emotion have changed my life in such amazing ways, that I would be ungrateful if I didn’t share them. I want nothing more than for others to find the same health, happiness, and connection that I have found.
Please let me show you the science that I have learned. The science and understanding that has transformed my life. Because WE ARE incredible enough, WE ARE important enough. WE ARE Worthy of the Ride.
